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You are here: Home / Series / Maintaining My High Maintenance Marriage Series

Maintaining My High Maintenance Marriage Series

Here are the posts in the Maintaining my High Maintenance Marriage Series.

Communication: The Communication Dance
Service: Love Does
Laughter: How Laughter is Vital to Marriage
Sex: How to Know God and Find Hope in Sex Life
Sex: Christian Encouragement for Better Marital Sex

jamie_s_harper

I am a spiritual director (in training). I offer a safe place to help you process your life with God.
#spiritualformation

This piece of art is called Laughing Wine Jesus by

It seems like a good time to remember that Jesus i

It seems like a good time to remember that Jesus is the most non-anxious person in the room.

He can help you re-member, regulate, and calm your anxious soul. Look for him in the room. See that he is there with you. Focus your eyes on Him. Take deep breaths. And allow yourself to be re-membered back to wholeness and safety when you feel anxious and overwhelmed.

Need more help with this, send me a DM. ✌🏻

This week I was given a chance to share my feeling

This week I was given a chance to share my feelings on the election - mainly in light of the church. And while as a chaplain, I cannot publicly share all of that, my thoughts and why I felt them made my friend wonder why she did not also feel similarly.

My response was this: we are different people with different personalities and experiences. The place where God has taken me today is different than the place where he has you today.

As a chaplain, spiritual director, and listener, I am made up of all these people’s stories. I am in the middle of the Ignatian exercises, thinking about sin.

And every time I meet with someone as a spiritual director, I meet them where they are, where God has led them right into that moment when I am with them.

But, we change where we are everyday. Tomorrow I will be in a new place. And even on a given day, I don’t stay the same even in that one day. So it is okay not to feel like I do because God has taken you to the place where you are. And my thought sharing may have stirred something in you that leads you to a new place. But it is okay to be just where you are.

Spiritual formation is always an invitation to peel back the layers and go deeper. But while we may be invited, we may not be ready, and God walks at our pace alongside us inviting us to see where we are ready to go.

These pics are from yesterday. I forget to take pics usually - like when it was raining or when I saw Annie. And sometimes, I don’t like the ones I do take because I still don’t recognize my aging face and body. No matter how many times people say I look younger than I am, there is still dissonance between what I see and what they must see. Daniel would call this some sort of humble brag, but I feel like I am attempting to reflect on the words I hear and the way I feel. Why am I struggling to feel fully me? I am older than I once was, even if on the inside I feel like a girl.

During this day, I was happy and sad and laughed and cried. I listened and I didn’t. I felt seen and I felt unseen. If I were Martha Stewart, maybe I would try to make the moments more perfect. But I am Jamie, and I am living from the moments where I am. God is here too.

There have been many disorienting times in my life

There have been many disorienting times in my life. Last week, I felt a sense of that disorientation for others while grieving a sudden loss. I was reminded of a particularly disoriented time in my 20s when the Israelites wandering in the wilderness seemed to be a theme and a hope for me. Though at the time, my understanding was limited, time has given me more understanding. With time, I gained wisdom, and I can add God’s faithfulness to the sense of lostness I felt.

Save this prayer for when you need help remembering that God knows what it is like to be with His people when they are lost.

Ozzy and Choso, each going their separate ways at

Ozzy and Choso, each going their separate ways at different times.

My senior! This week I am reminded of how precio

My senior!

This week I am reminded of how precious life is, and I want to soak up and savor whatever part I get to participate in - the good parts, the hard parts, and all the in between bits too! Tonight was a good part celebrating my sweet son.

October in Alabama doesn’t usually seem much lik

October in Alabama doesn’t usually seem much like fall. When other people in other parts of the world post about their leaves and trees and seasons, I get a touch of envy. Or at least I used to.

Now, instead, I begin watching more closely the landscape around me. October tends to start green and warm with an occasional touch of cool, crisp morning air.

Each day, I look at the mountains and hills around me, at the horizon. I watch for small color changes. Sometimes by November, all the leaves have fallen due to it being hot and dry. This year, we have a bit of drought so I know the leaves may fall because they may die before they change. But the maples rarely fail me.

They know what it is to display their colors in the beauty of change and even somewhat the splendor of dying. They let go of the old to make way for the barrenness of winter and eventually the newness of spring.

I wrote all of that yesterday at the first notice of true fall here in Alabama. Today when I look at the leaves, I remember that God tore the veil when Jesus died. He ripped the veil because he was sad and in doing so, gave access for us all to approach the throne in confidence.

In a broken world, death exists. But God is always with us in death and grief. He knows what it is to suffer, grieve, lament. He is with us in our weaknesses. He is with me in my feeble attempts to comfort, and he brings a comfort that cannot be imagined. He is our still waters, our green pastures, our always near friend. He is with us even in our darkest valley.

My friend @kimberlycampbellhome asked me to write

My friend @kimberlycampbellhome asked me to write this, but this is also for @julesclon and @anniee.harper and anyone going through a hard time.

I came home from Kansas safely yesterday. Back in

I came home from Kansas safely yesterday. Back in June, I went to visit my friend Julie in North Carolina, and her area is one of the places devastated by the storm. I was with her this weekend. It’s been a hard week holding the pain and lament of loss for my daughter and for my friend. I do not have a good update on Andy. And I have been so sad about what James Spann’s feed is showing me about the Carolinas, GA, and TN.

Peace, be still.

In the midst of hard things, I was continually reminded of the hope of Jesus through the work of his life, death, burial, and resurrection. In the moment of death, nothing feels good about it. But something good is coming and happening under the surface.

Peace, be still.

At church today, the pastor told a story about her godson asking about why tornadoes exist (paraphrase). She said she didn’t know but that she knew Jesus knows what it is to be in a storm and also how to calm it.

Peace, be still.

At TAG, Skye Jethani said, “all growth happens with three words: I don’t know.” We have to let go of certainty and embrace humble curiosity, something we’ve lost recently.

Peace, be still.

I came home feeling like an internal storm was brewing. It’s good to be with friends, but I can begin to notice the ways I’m hidden or lost or forgotten rather than the ways I am seen. But when I begin to set my focus on Jesus, on the words of St. Ignatius or Teresa of Avila or Ettie, the raging storm inside settles down. It is stilled.

Peace, be still.

@friendsu Masters of Spiritual Formation Cohort6 r

@friendsu Masters of Spiritual Formation Cohort6 reunion at The Apprentice Gathering @apprentice_institute. What a gift these people are to me. Praise God!

Senior challenge day 6!

Senior challenge day 6!

First day of college! Cute college girls!

First day of college! Cute college girls!

We moved Annabelle into Blazer Hall this week. I c

We moved Annabelle into Blazer Hall this week. I came home and came down with Covid. But she’s already made friends and going to coffee and doing fun stuff!

Thanks to Pam for letting us borrow the cart and bags. And to Chess for being there and helping in so many ways!

Blaze on! 🐉

I am open to taking on one or two more spiritual d

I am open to taking on one or two more spiritual direction clients. Here’s a reel I made about it.

Head to www.jamiesampieriharper.com to book an exploratory session.

Another wedding a week later! I kinda forgot to ta

Another wedding a week later! I kinda forgot to take pictures this time. The church and the bride and groom were beautiful. I enjoyed seeing so many people I love, but I didn’t take pics of them either. 💕

Senior and freshman year. First time in over 13 ye

Senior and freshman year. First time in over 13 years that I’m not driving one or some of them. You have to be ready early to go with E.

Just for a few minutes during the blessing of the

Just for a few minutes during the blessing of the backpacks (a practice new to me), I teared up and thought about when these three were little tots running around like the ones near the stage.

Two are going to high school. One is going to college and one will finish high school this year. And for the first time, I felt a little sad. Then when I recounted it at lunch, I teared up again.

“Mom, will you cry when you drop me off at school?”

A few weeks ago, I was doing fine. No tears in sight. Today, I am thoughtful and emotional.

And I have no idea if I will cry that day. But I am thankful.

I’m not sure if there is a hashtag for this wedd

I’m not sure if there is a hashtag for this wedding. 🙂 However, it was so cool to see Anna from Alabama and Juan from Guatemala get married today! They met when Anna went on a mission trip, and it sounds like it was lovely at first sight. Three years later, now they are married. 🥰 They asked the guests to wear black, and the ceremony was in English and Spanish. So sweet.

Freshman college orientation was yesterday and tod

Freshman college orientation was yesterday and today. She got registered for all her classes.

Plus my first cousin (who I haven’t seen in years 😢) gave the campus safety talk.

Year 2 of my Spiritual Direction cohort begins in

Year 2 of my Spiritual Direction cohort begins in August at the same time school begins here.

I recently asked how I could catch up to my reading goal, and mostly the recommendation was audiobooks or lose the goal.

I can’t lie - sometimes school and cohorts are one big expense to achieving a reading goal. 😂☺️ But I love it. And I am ready to begin, but also I am excited to end and am already thinking about how in April, I will no longer have an excuse to meet with the lovely people I met at Friends anymore and I will have one more child ready to graduate.

That’s a big leap considering there is so much life left to happen in between. I have just come to the age when a year is short.

I started Renovated already and love what I am learning about attachment and how that affects how you think about God.

#spiritualdirection #books #jamiesbookstagram #spiritualformation #ilovetolearn #ilovetoread #butsometimesineedmotivation #motivation

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