Christian Encouragement for Better Marital Sex

“Now for the matters you wrote about: It is good for a man not to marry. But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband. The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife’s body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband’s body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. I say this as a concession, not as a command. I wish that all men were as I am. But each man has his own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that.” 1 Corinthians 7:1-7

I just wanted to share some more basic Christian encouragement for better marital sex, but I felt like I needed to give you some background on me before I had any authority to do so. If you are still healing from a sexual wound, I know that aspects of this post may not be for you.

1. Sex is an act of worship.

2. In this collaborative series, we covered the topics of communication, service, and laughter. And every single one of these things are essential elements in the bedroom.

A. You’ve got to share with your husband or wife what you like and what you do not like while intimate with one another. One size fits all is not how sex works. I say this for the benefit of the singles or younger folks visiting who may not have had sex yet. I just simply didn’t understand that at first. I thought people just magically came together. Sex requires more effort than we are lead to believe, and I wanted to let you know that.

B. Sometimes you have to put your needs aside to take care of your husband’s needs first. Sex should not be taken from one another, even in marriage. I don’t think that’s what Paul meant when he was saying that our bodies belong not just to us, but to our spouses as well. However, we submit our minds and bodies to Christ and He gives us power, not of our own strength, but of His, to meet our spouse’s physical need. This is the first way in which we are an example of the body of Christ within the home. We serve each other, giving to one another as each one has need, not because we have to or because we should, but because we love, and therefore, we serve.

C. Sex can be and probably should be fun (I’m not big on using the word, “should”). Even when it doesn’t go as you expected, well, you can laugh and have fun while you play together. We laugh a lot in the bedroom.

3. There is value in attempting to come together even if things don’t work out as planned. Men may disagree but some of the most valuable bedroom times I’ve experienced is when my husband has laid down his needs for my own and has listened to me talk about my day while he holds me. Men, ladies are more apt to be physical if you connect with them emotionally.

4. Find a routine or rhythm that works for you and your hubby in how often and when, and then change it up. Ladies, know that sometimes your man is just going to want it more often that you do at times. I think everyone in the series mentioned we are wired differently. Do what you can mentally to be willing when he comes calling.

5. Be aware of your spouse and how to love them. Think about your spouse throughout the day, and whether you have sex or not, make it a daily habit to kiss, hug, and talk to one another. Get in the habit of playful touch. Often this is natural when first married and becomes more of an effort as time passes. Build these things into your relationship and hold fast to them.