After thinking about what I would be willing to die doing, the only answer to that question, no matter what my calling may be, is to live for Christ.
To live is Christ and to die is gain! (Phil 1:21) To the Life!! until death grabs ahold me – for Christ alone I’ll live always.
“A Restless Grace Haiku”
searching wrestling me
answering gaining Christ’s plea
Grace drifter I’ll be
Fortunately, I can do a number of things while living for Christ. Everything I mentioned on my last post and more – just not all at once. My restlessness for a calling and a purpose is a symptom of my disease. Indeed in my restless heart, I am prone to wander. If it is not one thing it is another thing my heart seeks. It used to be my heart ached over friendships or the lack of them or the lack of understanding of them, now the ache is for calling. Really, I’m trading one idol for another. Indeed I must just keep serving Him, and in the doing, maybe one thing rises up and makes me be more fully me.
“Come Thou Fount”
Come, Thou Fount of every blessing,
Tune my heart to sing Thy grace;
Streams of mercy, never ceasing,
Call for songs of loudest praise.
Teach me some melodious sonnet,
Sung by flaming tongues above.
Praise the mount! I’m fixed upon it,
Mount of Thy redeeming love.
Sorrowing I shall be in spirit,
Till released from flesh and sin,
Yet from what I do inherit,
Here Thy praises I’ll begin;
Here I raise my Ebenezer;
Here by Thy great help I’ve come;
And I hope, by Thy good pleasure,
Safely to arrive at home.
Jesus sought me when a stranger,
Wandering from the fold of God;
He, to rescue me from danger,
Interposed His precious blood;
How His kindness yet pursues me
Mortal tongue can never tell,
Clothed in flesh, till death shall loose me
I cannot proclaim it well.
O to grace how great a debtor
Daily I’m constrained to be!
Let Thy goodness, like a fetter,
Bind my wandering heart to Thee.
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
Prone to leave the God I love;
Here’s my heart, O take and seal it,
Seal it for Thy courts above.
O that day when freed from sinning,
I shall see Thy lovely face;
Clothed then in blood washed linen
How I’ll sing Thy sovereign grace;
Come, my Lord, no longer tarry,
Take my ransomed soul away;
Send thine angels now to carry
Me to realms of endless day.
Just when I think I’ve ceased the striving to a smaller measure, I am reminded that until I see His lovely face, I’ll keep on being restless.
“Because God has made us for Himself, our hearts are restless until they rest in Him.” St. Augustine
Today, may your restless heart cease striving, cease seeking, and be still and found – to the Life, to the Love, of Him.
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