At the cafe © by jakub_hla
“I’m not sure what to do about it. I am not around them often and I’m not their kind of girl,” I say.
“Well, you know I think Sandy* genuinely likes you, it’s just you know, her life is full. I mean I think she would be friends with you and spend more time with you but she just cannot add anything else in, you know?” he said.
It did not take long for God to speak to me through his words. I had been wanting the wrong thing. *sigh* I often want the wrong thing. You, too?
There was a reason I was feeling lean in the area of relationships. {There are probably more reasons than just this one.} The one He had me focus on was that if I was full in this area, I would not see the needs of other women, and He had me on assignment. He needed to uplift some of His others, and for now, I had to be content to be full in an unexpected way. It was another way He was calling me to give out of my poverty. It’s just that I was looking in the wrong direction.
I mentally glanced back at my calendar and realized that it was about as full as it always was, but just with different opportunities than I had thought I needed.
Perhaps that is what He always wants from us – continual re-evaluation in where we are rich and where we are poor and the two (richness and leanness) always mixing together. Perhaps this is a picture of humility in some way? My acknowledgment of a constant need for Him and a continual giving back to Him as He gives to me.
And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:19
*Name has been changed.
I completely understand this feeling… and isn’t it interesting when we take a look from the “outside” that we see that God has us in a specific season of life for His specific purposes!?!
this one stopped me dead in my emotional tracks, jamie — because i am a “sandy.” not because our lifestyles or circles would have any resemblance. but because of the one simple way your husband described her: “she just cannot add anything else in.” that is the sandy i am. the sandy i’ve been for years (due to health challenges in our family that necessitate a tremendous amount of time, as well as mental & emotional energy). and it’s a painful place to be. i long to invest more in my friendships, but i simply don’t have any more of me left. so yes, while i feel like these circumstances have left me lean, there has been so much “construction” in my soul along the way that i couldn’t deny the richness of the journey.