I wrote a post about five taboo topics and things I am thinking. It was so long that I broke it up into two posts. This is part two. Part one is here.
Taboo #3: I turned 40 in a foreign country
In February, I went to Houston to see Beth Moore, and in March, I went on a mission trip to Central Asia I cannot even tell you about. How is that for a writer’s irony? 🙂
There is so much here that I will try to reduce it in case I’ve said it all before. I felt called to be a missionary when I was 18. I don’t talk about it too much, because since I married I’ve waited for God to call my husband, but He has not. And while we are on taboo topics, it is not easy to talk publicly about your spouse. This has led me down all sorts of horrid paths mentally. For a time, I stopped believing the call. Other times, I struggled with my own sins in this area of life. Despite all that, the call has done nothing but increase.
Mrs. Russell (Elijah’s 3rd grade teacher who passed shortly before turning 40) died at the beginning of the school year. This led to me deciding to live as if I only had one life, which meant getting on a plane to go for the first time ever to a country overseas. If I am called, but my husband isn’t, I can still pray and walk out what God’s calling is on my life with my husband’s favor. A house divided cannot stand, and I am learning that I will not let my heart divide over this even as I obey God as I can. This is one important thing of many I learned at LIT in February. There is no excuse, although we contrive many, for not living your calling. There are complications, but God makes ways where there seem none.
Calling. Desire. Home.
I don’t know what to hope for – that the call would go away or that my husband would also receive it. I am gifted with feeling (not a spiritual gift), discerning, shepherding?, and knowledge, but none of the ones good for missionary work. I like to think I am good at loving, but that too is questionable. Like most of us, I can be quite selfish. I’ve let this calling disturb the peace in my marriage for a long time, and God is showing me how to overcome the pain and live in victory. I’ve sinned a great deal more as a result of my insecurity about the whole mess, but no more.
I had a milestone birthday, and I celebrated with the Lord overseas with a people hungry and desperate for hope and the gospel. I was asked if it was life-changing. My answer was that I didn’t know. Reflecting, it felt like home. It was one of the most encouraging and best things I’ve ever done. I will treasure it always. I hope to go again, but I’ve only ever been once to the various mission areas I’ve served.
Side note: I started watching Call the Midwife. Fabulous. Spoiler alert: Chummy gets married and then feels called to mission work. She and her hubby go to Sierra Leone. I cry at every episode, but especially that one in Season 2 when she talks about feeling selfish for feeling called, and he says he will go anywhere for her.
Taboo #4: Christian and worldly lingo should not be the same
I am doing a biblical counseling bible study, and it was written 40 years ago. A lot has changed in lingo. The book is most excellent in training me, but it needs some serious revision. I have realized that Christians need to be more careful about the words they use. For example, self-care to a Christian is reading the Bible, prayer, etc. (see my friend Stacy’s post) whereas the world often means something entirely more selfish when “self-care” is used. Christians need to state their terms and definitions clearly. Otherwise, we will lead the world astray.
Taboo #5: Christians should love their neighbors
Why is this taboo? Because so many of us don’t know our neighbors, much less love them. As DC Talk says, “the greatest single cause of atheism in the world today is Christians who acknowledge Jesus with their lips, then walk out the door and deny him by their lifestyle.” When we find out that neighbors are different from us, and we don’t do the actual work to share the hope of the gospel with them or to make any effort to simply know them, I wonder if we knew Jesus at all.
The Great Commission to go and the Great Command to love are both commandments. We must be going and loving all the time simultaneously. This shows God we love Him, shows us the truth of our hearts, and shows the world a living Savior.
That’s all for now. Good day, my blog reading friends. Next time, a more encouraging and less informative post. 🙂
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