So I haven’t posted lately because we’ve been busy with VBS this past week. Thursday evening we went to visit a new baby, and then the next morning A woke up with a fever. Today we went to visit my grandparents, and it is just such a sad situation of which I wish I knew a solution for. I can now understand why people contemplate euthanasia, not that I want to exercise that route. It’s just that things aren’t always as black and white as they seem to be when you are young. (I once wrote a term paper on euthanasia in high school). And before we left Cordova, little E got a fever. A only has a cold, so we just kept her around my mom and kept her & E mostly away from my grandparents.
Now that I have kids I read multiple books at once. I do actually finish them, but with kids it can be slow reading. Anyhow, I started reading, “Do You Think I’m Beautiful?” by Angela Thomas. It talks about how God created a woman to yearn to be beautiful, and it speaks to my soul. How much of our lives are shaped by how we view ourselves when we are younger and the words or the silence that is spoken to us. I finished the first chapter yesterday, and I’m doing the bible study with it. She quotes John Eldredge from his book “Wild at Heart” in saying that women yearn to be sought after, to be thought of as captivating, to have some adventure. These words ring true to me.
I just joined facebook this week, and so many people are living in new and exciting places, some are missionaries, some are not, some are married, some are not. But at first glance, yes, I felt kinda jealous, mainly of the adventure that each of them appear to be having, while I’m in Alabama raising kids. My adventure is an adventure too, but very different from how I thought things would be. I thought earlier in my life that I would be single forever, with nothing holding me back from traveling wherever I wanted whenever I wanted other than God. But it is God that called me into the adventure I am on, and that is something I had to remember. See, there is nothing, no child, no husband, no journey quite as captivating and rewarding as being pursued by God eternally. How awesome we are created as women! The temptation however, is to have eyes that only see temporally instead of eternally. If there is one thing I can know it is that God is never going to let me down – my part is just to seek him, to pray for the things I yearn for, to be obedient to His leading, and watch out for the fun. And just to be clear, I would never really want to trade this journey with my precious kids and husband for anything!
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