I am not sure where to begin or what to say. It’s like that when you break a silence sometimes. Most of the time we are too busy running hectic listening to so many noises that we don’t hear silence at all. But I have been silent for a good part of my summer. Have you noticed? 🙂 I am quiet by nature, such that sometimes when I speak, people talk over me, and my voice is small and quiet too, so sometimes they don’t hear me. Sometimes I want to use my voice forcefully in those moments, but I rarely ever do.
The summer was: Thoughtful. Reflective. Quiet. Not busy or fast paced, but slow. And simple.
I’ve read a lot of books that are outside of my norm. I read some godly books, and I read some not so godly books. I will spare you the titles, because I couldn’t with good conscience recommend them nor do I want to cause anyone to stumble. I was not pleasantly surprised with the world today or its top rated books, though I was taken with the Harry Potter series, of which I do at some point plan to review. Reading the not so godly worldly books was however good for me, because sometimes we Christians need jostling back to reality; we do indeed need to understand something of the world. In the world but not of the world I suppose. They lacked the satisfaction of the truth He gives though.
Throughout my summer, I rarely checked facebook. I was more intentional to see people. I blogged like once. I was content to stay in my pajamas and watch movies and do little or go out for a fun activity with the kids. I was able to focus on my kids. When my kids were younger I was the helicopter, hover mother. I did everything with my kids. They are still young at 7, 6, and 3, but now I give them space and freedom within my home to play with one another and to a small degree make their own fun, and that’s when I would read or whatnot. If they needed me, I got up and tried not to say, “in a minute” or “when I finish writing this post” or “after I finish reading this article” in a snippy tone of voice, as I sometimes have in the past. I set out to be a simple wife and mom, and I think I mostly achieved that. It felt good to give up my stuff and find life. I did not want for them to see me on the computer all the time as they so often have.
In the same realm, I began to purge. I am still going to do more purging, but I began to seriously say, “out with the old” without saying “in with the new.” I removed busyness from my life, social media from my list of things to do to keep from being bored or depressed, and excess stuff. I added to the list healthy eating and exercise, and now of course, I will soon add school back in, though I plan to remain simple mom. I am not even sure I am going to volunteer to be anything more. I feel a peace with being “just a mom,” which was not there earlier this year. Sad I know.
In the quiet, I am peaceful with myself, who I am, who He’s created me to be, and in my efforts as a mom and wife.
In the loud, in the noisy, in the thinking, I am not happy with who I am or in my efforts as a mom and wife. I always feel like there is some mark I didn’t achieve. I don’t do this for others – just me.
We are not fully detoxed from the noisy life: my kids still love the computer, playing on a tablet, or the wii, all within certain limits of course. As I become a more simple me, I recognize that Satan uses this noisy busy world – this noisy crazy busy I have to run until I drop busy to keep us from God’s still small voice. He’s calling me to childlike faith – the noise tells me it’s too late, but the simple says I already have it and it’s mine for the keeping. Just gotta keep listening, for He is telling me: “This is the path, walk in it,” and I no longer want to talk over His most important voice.
This is beautiful. This all reminds me of this verse, “But I am afraid that, as the serpent deceived Eve by his craftiness, your minds will be led astray from the simplicity and purity of devotion to Christ.” Oh how loving Him and loving others is so easy and simple once we rid our lives of the clutter. Thank you for sharing your heart. It truly blessed me.
Thank you, Barbie – you bless me! And thank you for pointing me to that verse – it did not come to mind but it is perfect for this!
This is a beautiful post. I really admire what you did. I’m working through a series right now but once it’s over I plan to take a break for a little bit.
Thank you, Aprille, and welcome to the blog! I look forward to reading your series. I briefly clicked over and found that you and I may have some common ground, so I look forward to seeing if it is true. At any rate, learning about grace, legalism, etc, is something I enjoy, so I will be perusing your blog soon!
Jamie, I started following you because you are going to Allume and your grace-filled site just drew me in from even a cursory look! I look forward to reading more!!
We will have to meet up at Allume! That will be fun. 🙂
Yes, Amen, Jaime 🙂 it is so easy to be busy and it really is more of a fight to be still and to hear His voice…Good for you and your family….Love this 🙂
Oh, Dolly, it was so good to see you here! 🙂 I did not comment but really loved your post from your vacation and how you enjoyed your own quiet. Thanks for visiting friend. It is very hard to be still and know He is good, isn’t it?
Jamie, I love this, because it’s so true no matter what role we’ve been given. Being content and faithful in it is liberating. And when we’re faithful with the little we have, God will give us more–and being a wife and mom is no little thing. Anyway, I’ve been working through a lot of these same things. Blogging less, and actually finding myself full of ideas, but okay with taking it slow. And I’m not worried, because I know it’s more important that I’m faithful to the people in my life, the family, and even to taking care of myself. And I’m finding that when I take breaks I’m a nicer person and have more energy to get more accomplished. Anyway, thanks for sharing, friend. I’m glad you had a good, restful summer!
Yes, Jacqui – exactly! Thank you for your encouraging words. Being a wife and mother is no small thing at all, and we do well not to minimize it. That’s a lovely reminder.
The thoughts you write here so mirror my own…right down to being surprised and enjoying Harry Potter!
Less doing, less stuff, less noise.
You can not get around the plain truth it flushed out the crap and makes for a better, more calm, more gentle mama.
I completely un-plug in July, and only blog photography and a few sentences in August.
What you say about “Satan using the noisy busy world” is very true.
A good read I enjoyed this Summer was Donald Miller’s Blue Like Jazz, and in it he wrote that
“one of Satan’s greatest tricks is distraction”
I think that aptly describes our noisy world.
So glad to stumble upon another mama who has been enlightened with the truth that less is more.
Cheers,
Leah
I am so glad you stopped by, Leah! It is always encouraging when you run into someone called to do something similar for Christ. Less is more – I totally agree! Nice to meet you. 🙂
This describes perfectly my feelings this summer! And it is spilling over into fall, when I’ll be homeschooling two children this year instead of one. I’m dropping a lot of my church responsibilities as pastor’s wife. I also dropped my music course, which was really hard, but I knew it was right for this season of life. Also purged out a lot of the “stuff” we had in our house, and I already find that my life is less cluttered. Here’s to having more time and energy to do the things that matter!! Looking forward to chatting at Allume. 🙂
Yes, somehow I thought I was called to be super mom or everything for every one, but I am not called to that. I am learning very slowly to be comfortable with me and what God has called me to. I think we will have a great time at Allume – I look forward to spending time with you as well. 🙂