Grace for my Mess Chocolate Brownie Cheesecake

February 28th was my nine-year anniversary. I cannot believe I’ve been married 9 years. It’s been long; it’s been short.

The day started out with a fight about cheesecake and how it wouldn’t come off the pan. He tried to help me, and then I yelled mean words to him. Then he said, “Happy Anniversary” in a tone that was not very nice. I wanted to cry because when I yell mean words they don’t sting, but when he says them, well, let’s just say I have a different standard for him than for self. 😉

He got it off the cake pan and onto a tray, but it had cracks and was not looking the way a perfect cheesecake looks. I’d already began making the topping for it. We hugged and made up, and I kissed him good-bye as he left for work. I was definitely planning to keep it at home, instead of taking it to church to share, since it wasn’t visually perfect.

Every year during the week of our anniversary, our church hosts something called WorldReach. It is a big missionary conference, and we have people coming from all over the place. Our church moved its campus on the weekend that we were married 9 years ago, and for that reason, it is easy for me to remember how long our church has been in its location and how long we’ve been doing WorldReach. We started it the year of the one year anniversary of moving. The cheesecake was made to take to a WorldReach event – a women’s luncheon where the missionary wives get to share their stories. WorldReach is really one of my favorite times of the year.

After Daniel left for work, I was still on edge. So I shared it on facebook. And I had friends come to my aid and tell me how to save the cheesecake. Heather said just cut it up, put it in some cute cupcake holders, put some fruit on top, and carry it on. I said, thank you and then she said, “Everyone will be too busy coveting your cute hair and boutique inspired outfits to notice what was in your Tupperware. Have fun today!”

While this was fully intended as a compliment and I pretty much took it that way, it made me think…

because I’ve not been given a message of pretty hair, clothes, or perfection, and despite all appearances, that’s just not what I want to convey… E.V.E.R. I hope yall know that about me.

So I decided to take the cheesecake, with a little sign that said,

“Grace for the mess chocolate brownie cheesecake” because life is messy and sweet! 2 Corinthians 12:9

because the message I have is not one of perfection but of messy offerings. My life (your life too friend) is an offering, and it sure ain’t perfect! I shared that on fb, and my friend, Tanya, came back and added the verse for me. My life offering is messy and God uses it anyhow.  That’s the interesting thing about grace. In the law, only perfection could be offered. In grace, well, He gets a bonafide mess! And somehow, what I see as messy, He sees as covered in the Perfect Blood of Christ. Complete. Whole. Remade.

In the midst of my cheesecake crisis, real life set in – a preschooler almost late for school and a Kindergartener who peed his pants. So I had to rush around to take Libby to school, find clothes for Elijah, and in the process, I made peace with Him. I settled my soul to the imperfect, took my baby to school, went to the elementary school, changed my boy happily, and came home and got the cheesecake ready to go – to be given as it was intended. That was amazing!

If I’m truly a girl who doesn’t care about appearances, then I need to take the cheesecake just as it is.

“Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” 1 Samuel 16:7

Yall, I am very disappointed to tell you that my card was discarded as soon as the cake was cut! But, if only for me, God’s intimate work was done that day. See what it looked like, and on a Christmas platter, no less. Perfectly Jamie Harper!

So here’s the cheesecake and the recipe for “Grace for my Mess” chocolate brownie cheesecake, with a few cooking tips. Recipe originally found in Southern Living.  The original recipe makes 2 cheesecakes. I halved the recipe to make one cheesecake, and that’s what you find here.

“Grace for my Mess” Chocolate Brownie Cheesecake

Ingredients

• 1/4 cup chopped, toasted pecans
• 2 (1 ounce) unsweetened chocolate baking squares
• 1/2 cup butter
• 1 cup sugar
• 2 large eggs
• 1/2 cup all purpose flour
• 1/2 tsp vanilla extract
• 1/2 cup semi-sweet chocolate morsels
• 2 (8 ounce) packages cream cheese, softened
• 7/8 cups sugar
• 3 eggs
• 1 tsp vanilla
• 1 (12 ounce) pkg semisweet chocolate morsels
• 1/2 cup whipping cream

What you should do next:

1. Sprinkle pecans evenly over the bottom of a greased and floured 9-inch springform pan. NOTE: I omitted pecans. {This could have been a problem – I dunno!}
2. Microwave chocolate squares in a microwave-safe bowl at MEDIUM (50% power) 1 1/2 minutes, stirring at 30-second intervals until melted. Stir until smooth.
3. Beat butter and 1 cup sugar at medium speed with an electric mixer until light and fluffy. Add 2 eggs, 1 at a time, beating just until blended after each addition. Add melted chocolate, beating just until blended.
4. Add flour, beating at low speed just until blended. Stir in vanilla and chocolate morsels. Pour batter into pan, spreading over chopped pecans.
5. Beat cream cheese at medium speed with an electric mixer until smooth; add 7/8 cup sugar, beating until blended. Add 3 eggs, 1 at a time, beating just until blended after each addition. Stir in vanilla. Pour cream cheese mixture, spreading over brownie batter.
6. Bake at 325° for 1 hour and 15 minutes or until set. Remove from oven; cool completely on wire racks.
7. Melt chocolate chips in microwave with 1/2 cup whipping cream at 50% power.
8. Spread top of cooled cheesecake; cover and chill 8 hours. Remove sides of pans before serving [emphasis mine]. Garnish, if desired, with strawberries or mint sprigs.

Things I Think Would be Key to try:

1. Place wax paper in the bottom of the spring form pan, to easily remove not just the sides of the pan, but also the bottom of the pan after cheesecake is cooled. Yes, you may have to serve it with the wax paper, but still…
2. Bake the brownie batter slightly (10 or 15 minutes or so) before placing cheesecake batter on top. One problem was that the brownie batter was not quite done in the middle.

Enjoy – even if messy!!