How Do You Like Your Eggs?

How do you like your eggs?  Scrambled, boiled, fried?  Well done or runny?  Hard boiled or soft boiled?  Benedict?  Poached?  In the movie Runaway Bride, one of the things that Richard Gere’s character, Ike, finds out about Julia Robert’s character, Maggie, is that with every fiance, Maggie decides that she likes her eggs to be cooked the same way as her fiance.  In essence, she and each of her fiances do not really know who she is.  By the end of the movie, she cooks an assortment of eggs and figures out what kind of eggs she likes and begins to grasp a better understanding of who she is.

When I was a child, fried eggs, sunny side up, over easy, were the type of eggs that my parents frequently cooked for breakfast.  Rarely did we have them any other way, because that was their favorite way to cook and eat eggs.  Occasionally, they boiled them.  Sometimes, they scrambled them.  For a special treat, they scrambled them with cheese.  As a child, I did not really like eggs.  Sometimes, if mom or dad put enough cheese in them or if they were boiled, I might eat them, but my preference was to have no egg.  When I got older, I realized that you could have a well done fried egg, and I couldn’t believe that my parents had not taught me about this.   My parents tried their best to get me to like the same kind of eggs as them, but a runny egg was then, and still is, in my opinion, a gross egg.

Sometimes, Daniel and I do this with our kids.  We want our kids to fit into the little mold we’ve already determined for them – from the type of eggs and foods they like to the kinds of toys we want them to play with.  Yes, as a parent, it is our job to get our kids to try new things, but it is also our job to get them to be the best they can be.  Most of the time that means accepting them for who they are and guiding them to be God’s best while still being themselves.

When I was just starting out as a new mom, I thought that parenting was more about getting my child to do as I say.  Only 5 years later, and I have found getting my kids to do as I say is a very minor part of parenting.  (I’m sure I’ll have to eat my words as I am still a new mom.)

When I had Princess, I followed the BabyWise books, and if she cried and I didn’t know why she was crying, I just dealt with it and let her cry.  I did not try to figure it out, and this made becoming a new mom stressful.  I was trying to bond with Princess and so many people wanted to see and hold her.  She could be in the same room with me, and I would miss her because so many people wanted to hold her.  I had no idea how I was to react to any of it.  Being a people pleaser, it was hard for me to set up boundaries.  I found it baffling when other moms would expect me to know my baby and why she was crying because I did not always know why.  I was very green and clueless at first.

Though I babysat when I was younger, I never babysat babies, so I had little experience with them.  With each subsequent baby, I got better at baby communication and at understanding each one’s needs.  DoodleBug has been supremely easy and pleasant, but I learned early on the way she liked to be held, to sleep, to lay in her bed.  When others held her and she fussed, I knew why.  She has rarely had to cry it out and has very little reason to distrust us (from a baby’s point of view) because I have known her better as a baby.  She looks at me, grabs and kisses me, and trusts me completely.  Only time will tell if I can keep it going.

The big kids both frustrate me and please me because they each have their own identity, and though they want to please Daniel and I both, they are strong in voicing their identity and what they like.  As the mom, it is my job to investigate like a detective what makes each one tick.  The more I have attempted to get to know my children, the more my relationship with each of them has grown better.  Sometimes, this has meant that I have had to change my approach in disciplining them.

When it comes to God, He knows everything about us.  He created us and He does not have to work at figuring us out.  He knows how I like my eggs, what makes me happy or sad, and what my deepest and darkest thoughts are.  There is a freedom in that.  You can come to God and simply be, and He accepts you and understands you as you are.

As Anne of Green Gables says, “There’s such a lot of different Annes in me. I sometimes think that is why I’m such a troublesome person. If I was just the one Anne it would be ever so much more comfortable, but then it wouldn’t be half so interesting.” I don’t have to be frustrated because He doesn’t “get” me or because I have to be one of the many Jamie’s – no, He gets all of me.  He knows I like my eggs occasionally scrambled, always well done, and sometimes poached.