Homemaking Strategies for a Calmer Home

It was never my dream to stay at home as long as I have. By that, I didn’t dream much beyond having children and staying home when they were little. My mom went back to work when I was in 7th and my sister 1st. As a kid, I didn’t love the transition. As a mom myself, I would probably enjoy a job of some sort, but cannot envision making it work for our family quite yet.

I always thought I would be one of those sweet moms who never raises her voice, her kids love her, people are annoyed by how well everything goes for her, and her family all gets along. Maybe you imagined that’s how it would go too. But for me, very little has gone as I envisioned.

I do raise my voice. My kids sometimes claim to hate me and did so even from quite a young age. Nothing goes as smoothly as I’d like, and my family does not usually get along.

Over the years, I’ve learned strategies to make the tone of the house smoother and calmer even in the chaotic times. I cannot control how my children behave (not really). Nor can I control whether they will have a good disposition or not when they get home from school. There is very little I can do to make my family become the vision I wish they were. This is when I lean into God’s sovereignty.

However, there are lots of things I can do to at least try for a successful and calmer home. Here are a few homemaking strategies for a calmer home.

Homemaking Strategies for a Calmer Home

{Remember, not to use these as a legalistic must, but as a tool to help you come up with a routine that works for you.}

1. Spend time in the Word

• How does this make my home calmer? It gives me the strength I need to respond well to my children when everything is chaotic. I still cave and give into the chaos and find myself acting as loony as a child from time to time, but I’ve made the connection between reading the Word and not reading the Word. I am truly more capable to respond well when I’ve slowed down and contemplated God. 
• Sometimes I read the Bible. Sometimes I listen to it. Then, there are times that I carry the Word with me in meditation as I go about the day. Sometimes, I listen to podcasts that point me toward God or music and radio shows that honor God.

2. Pray

• This goes hand in hand with step 1, but often I need to pray about the problems I see in my home. I value calm, so I ask the Lord to work in the ways I only wish I could to make my home a calmer environment.
• Then, I ask the Lord to work in the hearts of my children in ways that I see they are rebellious. I ask Him to keep working in ways that they conform to Him.
• Sometimes, I prayer walk my home, asking God’s Spirit to feel it with peace. I ask for the spirit of adversity to leave. (I can be a little Pentecostal).

3. Do the dishes regularly

• Now, in the summer, this may not work exactly as during the routine of the school year. When the kids were little, someone recommended flylady to me. I had no homemaking skills whatsoever, and the concept of a clean sink meant nothing to me.
• My sink does not stay empty necessarily. For example, there are several dishes we hand wash only, and they have permission to sit in the sink longer.
• However, I run a load of dishes in the dishwasher (sometimes two) every day and empty them every day when I am on my best game.
• At times, leave the dishes in the sink dirty, and let the kids place them in the dishwasher. I’ve not been the best at farming out this chore, so it is quite entertaining to let my divas get their hands dirty from time to time. And it helps them to appreciate honest, everyday work and gives them a teeny amount of appreciation for me and Daniel.
• How does this help? If anything it helps me and my husband to see one place where there is some sense of order.

4. Do the laundry regularly

• Often on Mondays, especially after summer break and the beginning of school routine, I spend much of the day doing laundry.
• As I catch up, I attempt to do one load of laundry every day.
• The older my kids get, the more important clothes are to them. So having them clean and ready to wear keeps stress at bay.
• However, if my older ones are prone to clothing freakouts, guess what? They are taught how to wash and dry and then how to take more responsibility to do it themselves. This may seem counter-intuitive. Shouldn’t I prevent the freakout by doing it for them? But I say, if you are not happy with how often mom washes or if you don’t realize that you really leave your clothes on the floor and not in the hamper, and you are going to freak out, it’s time for consequences.

5. Have a plan or idea for dinner

• I don’t really meal plan. You could say I have a loose meal plan though. I grocery shop once a week or every other week. I give myself ideas as I shop, though I do shop with a list. Sometimes, I plan to make a special meal and buy the ingredients for it, but rarely. I keep staples available and change out what meats I buy for variety. Then I pull out a meat, two veggies or a fruit, and maybe a carb (in general).
• However, it is important to decide early in the day what I will cook in the evening so that I am not floundering around in stress with hungry kids and a hungry husband waiting.
• It is also important when deciding what to cook to consider the evening’s activities. Do I have to do a lot of driving to activities? Will I be gone during family dinner? Will I be volunteering at the end of the day and tired as a result? Then a crockpot meal may be easier or leftovers or something simple.

6. Start the homework as early as the kids will let you

• We often eat dinner two to two and half hours after the kids get home from school. Part of the time is downtime, and the kids tell me about their days. They usually eat a snack. Part of the time is cook time, and part of it is homework time.
• I find out the homework situation as soon as I can after the kids enter the house.
• It is best to have the kids have their free time and then start on homework. I will consider how much they have and how much time they need.
• The earlier you start, the earlier you hope to finish. It gives you space if there ends up being a problem or homework meltdown.

7. Make sure teens and tweens are well fed and well slept, so have set bedtimes and routines

• This ensures less tweenage meltdowns. As a parent, it is easy for me to think of this stage as a second toddler stage. 

8. Keep family dinner times

• A set time is good, but we are flexible based on family and individual schedules.
• I cannot say there have not been seasons when this seemed more stressful than it was worth. Keep going. The family camaraderie will build even when making it through rough seasons.
• The only thing that kept me going at times was a firm belief in the table as a sacred tool and place.

9. Take or give a chill pill as needed

• Take deep breaths and time-outs as needed, both for you or any other family member. 🙂

Bonus: Once a week family fun nights

Bonus: Do something every day that brings the family together

• Sometimes, this may be family dinner. Other times, it may be watching a TV show, reading a book, or playing outside — together.