It is quiet. My kids are up, but the only sound I hear is the fan blowing in my bedroom and my fingers clicking the keys, and the occasional pause, as I pause to reflect on what to say and to type.
Summer is over half over here. I begin to mourn a bit for its coming end, and ponder what magnificent thing we should do today.
My son appears because he is on all electronic time out and is learning out to be bored and find fun in the quiet.
My sister had the baby whose heartbeat we heard. We went to visit her and him this week, and Annabelle held the sweetness of a new life. So tender, so sweet, so gentle and soft.
My girl is growing up. The other day when we asked around the table what we hope to accomplish by the time we were 70, she basically said she wanted to be me, only her version sounded better. I don’t know how long it will last – these special moments between she and I but I cherish them. Though she is only 8 1/2, there were days when I thought this would never come. When all the work and time and effort I put into mothering seemed small and worthless, and now, at least momentarily, I am reaping its benefits. Praise the good God above.
I don’t know why some seem to struggle more with the hearing of and listening to – God.
Daniel and I have been praying for God to speak to a certain subject in particular, and God is quiet. Still. I have heard small whispers, and Daniel still waits.
Earlier in the week, I drove to visit my sister and the baby by myself, and on the return trip, I began to pray adamantly. One of my favorite lines from my favorite movie, Anne of Green Gables, is this:
“Why must people kneel down to pray? If I really wanted to pray I’ll tell you what I’d do. I’d go out into a great big field all alone or in the deep, deep woods and I’d look up into the sky—up—up—up—into that lovely blue sky that looks as if there was no end to its blueness. And then I’d just feel a prayer.”
I realize that I am wordless, and God is asking me to be still before Him, just quiet and still. I turn off the radio, and as best I can, I lessen my thoughts and quiet my soul.
“Be still and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.” Psalm 46:10
For a moment, it is as if my stillness and knowing, each of themselves, bring exaltation among the nations and among the earth. For a moment I visualize myself prostrate, and the nations and the earth recognizing God simply because I refuse to recognize anything else. I immediately think of those who are prosecuted, who are still in the name of the God, and refuse to deny Him. In doing so, they carry the gospel to the nations. I am humbled.
The next day, I read this and smile, for a God who is active in my life.
My second return trip is not as quiet, as my car is full of kids and my mind is weary and cluttered. I am returning home to find the stillness again. But in the weary, heaven laden thoughts, I recognize that I could keep turning them over in my mind, worrying about all. the. negative. things. Or I could choose to still them and know that He is God. To trust Him with the very things that I am wrestling with. To believe that He is big enough to change things and people who seem never to change, even me. This is how He is exalted among the nations and in the earth.
I think of myself – a constant work in progress, a great masterpiece. I think of my Annabelle, who is so beautiful in her becoming. I hope for my son that change will happen. I believe in my little Lisabeth, and I know that even now, God is listening and answering prayers for my husband and I.
And you, dear reader, I treasure your silent presence with me. Is God asking you to be still before Him? To allow Him to search your anxious thoughts? I pray today, you find Him in the quiet moments of your day.
I leave you with this song, “Everlasting,” by Matt Brouwer, because it reminds me that I can take my anxious thoughts to Him, and He will lead me in the way everlasting (email subscribers click here to view the video). More writing to come – summer has kept me busy with activity instead of words.
Hey friend, I’ve been so bad at reading blogs, lately. I’ve missed you! I really loved entering into your meditative thoughts today. The quiet contemplation and thanks for your life. Your Anabelle seems so sweet and I only hope to have a good relationship with my daughters as they grow up. I feel like Karis (my 6 year old) is getting to be like Anabelle. It’s crazy the maturity I’ve seen in her the last couple of months. It’s good and hard at times. It’s probably the emotions that make it this way. The hard being that I want to validate her feelings, but then sometimes I’m just short and frustrated with her…finding myself in need of apologizing. But the flip side is that she can be so sweet and loving and kind. And I just want to want to squeeze her telling her how proud I am of her. Anyway, that’s all probably random. Praying for you and Daniel right now – the hearing from God. That His voice would be clear in both your hearts and you’d have peace. Blessings and love, dear friend.
Thanks, Jacqui! I miss you as well. I am glad you stopped by. And yes, I relate to everything you said about Karis. That’s how it has been with Annabelle. I feel so blessed to be in this place with her. Oh, and, I so appreciate your prayers for Daniel and I. That is my heart’s cry – that his voice would be clear in both our hearts and that we’d have peace. Much love to you!
Jaime,
Thank you for giving us a peek into your quiet before God and your beautiful heart for your children…what sweet encouragement from your girl Annabelle…truly precious 🙂 Congrats on the safe arrival of your niece ….and on recognizing the gift of enjoying some of the fruit of your work as an attentive parent 🙂
Thank you, Dolly! I have a nephew not a niece, but he is so soft and cuddly.
I am so so thankful for these little moments. Such a dear delight to me.
love this!!
Thank ya! 🙂
I appreciate your beautiful words, and your heart that comes through of your love for the Lord and your family. Blessings!
Oh, thank you, Barbie – I so appreciate that. I hope you are having a nice vacation!