Hello friends. I feel like you are my friends even though many of you I’ve never actually talked to or emailed or seen in person. For some reason you read my words – a great gift to me.
Today seems like a historic day in my world, so I wanted to hop on here, and see if I could manage to type something worth sharing. Today is my husband’s 40th birthday! Wowzers. I cannot believe we are getting old. I was walking the dog (- did I tell you we got a dog?), and it occurred to me that the command to be like a child is truly a wondrous thing. First, who really ever feels like a grown-up? In my mind, I am still a little girl and even though I’ve known the pain and heartache and responsibility of adulthood, I feel in my mind still young, still learning, still, depending on the seriousness of the moment, hopeful. Last, I love that I get to throw off the responsibilities in becoming childlike and give them to a King who can carry them when I mostly cannot. I get to become dependent, and I get to ask for what I need and what I want, and He is still shaping me. I get to see the world with eyes of wonder and newness. I get to, that is, if I choose to enter into the Kingdom like a child.
Today, I have started homeschooling my oldest girl, and this is that surrender that I have hinted at in previous posts, so I am a fourth grade teacher this year. I always wanted to homeschool, probably because it seemed holier or something, or maybe because I would get to be with my kids a lot. But I surrendered my plan, all my plans it seems, to the One, and when it came time for Him to resurrect this dream, frankly, I was not super excited. I got used to the life where I sent my kids to school, and I could focus on whatever I wanted to focus on, but it became clear that we as parents needed to intervene. Most would not find it bad, but to us, our girl was becoming of the world, not merely in it. I think that’s easy for a 9-year-old to do. We have had to realize that we’ve not always really succeeded at this parenting gig, and the values we hold to were not settling into our kids. Me, who had wanted to homeschool, well now, I didn’t so much because my girl was fighting me every moment of this. That’s one reason this year has been so hard. I’ve been fighting a good(hopefully?) fight. Already, I see her changing, and I know that the daily dying will bring great joy, if not today or tomorrow, then one day, and if I do not give up, I will reap a harvest! Please, Lord, let it be!
My little girl is going to Kindergarten! My younger two kids are still going to public school, and I cannot believe it. When I thought about having all my kids in school, I thought I would need something to do, but I thought maybe I would find a job or finally write a book or pursue a dream, not homeschool. Funny, huh? I expect homeschool will be just as much for my sanctification as my daughters. But all three in school? – time flies! My little baby seems just that – a baby.
Also, I wanted to make a correction from the last post – I kept thinking of it. I believe that God can speak to us without His word, but the Bible is a good and sometimes better way to hear from Him. I understand God best when I know His word, but the Bible is not God Himself and doctrine must fall under God, Jesus, Spirit – one. I got to thinking maybe it sounded as though I think the Bible is not important. Hopefully if you’ve read me for a while, you know that I think it is. I think the more I understand the Word, the more I understand Jesus. I also think that knowing Jesus is more important than knowing doctrine. Each has a place – one is academic and one is life. One is relationship. One is knowledge. But bible study is a love of mine, and I have written a couple.
I find myself wanting to hear from you and your world – how is Jesus calling you to daily death?
Also I am really curious about what kinds of posts you like to read from me? Prophetic? Journal? Bible posts? And if I do a 31 day series in October, what would you like me to write about? Or if I get really brave and start videoing myself, got anything you want to hear about? All of this may be a moot point when I find out that homeschool takes up all the time. But I still dream. 🙂
Next time, I am doing a giveaway for email subscribers only, so share and subscribe.
Love you dearly. Be rooted in Him!
Jamie
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