Under Pressure

Pressure pushing down on me. … under pressure…

My son loves 80’s music. I didn’t know that the song above was by Queen / Bowie until he taught me. This song runs through my head, and I think of him.

I spend a lot of time feeling like I am under pressure.

What is the Pressure

Pressure to…

• be a good Christian.
• be a good mom.
• live intentionally.
• be a good wife.
• love well.
  
• be a good friend.
• be a good neighbor.
• write well.

None of those things are necessarily wrong. But under each subheading, comes a long list of ideas of what that means. The first heading, being a good Christian, really drives the idea behind being a good mom, wife, friend, neighbor, and loving well.

Some of those things are commanded. Neighboring, for example, is the second commandment. Loving the first command.

When I am out of whack with God and anyone else, it is because I try so hard to obey in my own strength.

What Causes the Pressure

I want to…

• desperately to get obedience right.
• be good in God’s eyes.
• love Him well.
• love others well.
• teach well.
• exceed other’s expectations and my own.

We could sit for a while on “exceeding expectations.”

But when I thought about what I wrote yesterday and how I was seeing God as my parent, good to me in all things, I realized He is the same parent to my children. As a mom, I have too often tried to take over His job.

Too often I am too close to my responsibility as a mom. I feel every burden, every pressure, and I don’t take the gift He’s given me to enjoy what I have.

He’s given me all the freedom to enjoy, and I wrap myself in chains once again. In old and new ways, in old and new responsibilities, I tell him…

I like my chains thank you very much. You can have the freedom.

Until all the chains keep me from bending and moving and running in the beautiful fields or enjoying the children He gave me both as treasure and part affliction. 😉

Until we face an inner brokenness that no blessing in this life can mend, we’ll be drawn irresistibly to the Old Way.

“

What Relieves the Pressure

I wonder how many times I will be drawn to the Old Way of life until I am done wrapping myself in chains.

But I dare not dwell there in seeing that I was there. No, I claim my resurrection. I slip into my freedom as a mother and daughter of Christ. Take off the mom-guilt, which I deserve, and which He has covered! How did He cover it? Through His death on the Cross.

Yes, I know–you see the mess. I’ve helped you see it. But the Father sees only the beauty of Christ. Come! Eat. Drink. Enter His presence under the terms of the New Covenant. You are as pure as Christ. You belong to the Father, and you desire Him above all other desires. And now I’ll deepen your awareness of all that is true, freeing you to come boldly into a place where many have died. Come in the merits of the Cross.

The Pressure’s Off, Larry Crabb

And just like that, I dance again, all weight removed. Shame gone. Placed at the foot of the Cross.

Thanks for your patience as I get back into the practice of writing.