The Urgent

I have someone in my life who basically only calls me when s/he has an urgent need.  The conversation goes something like this:

The phone rings while I’m in the middle of doing life: cooking, cleaning, playing, etc.  I answer.  Sometimes I try to continue doing whatever I was doing as I talk.  Usually this leads to disaster, but I digress. 🙂

• Me: Hello.
• Other person:  Sounding like someone is about to die, “Quick, I’m on Southside – where’s the closest laundromat?”
• Me:  I have no idea.
• Other person:  huff.  sigh.  despair.  “You know we were just there 3 months ago, where was it?”
• Me:  sighing, “Let me look it up for you.”
• Other person:  huff.  huff.  sigh.  more despair.  “Why don’t you know?  Don’t you remember?  I need to know now.”
• Me:  What?  Why?
• Other person:  I’m on this side of town, and I want to see this really pretty house that is close by it.
• Me:  What?  Really?  thinking to myself, “I fell for it again.  !?!?”

© by mikebaird

God’s been calling me to a time of more intimate prayer with him.  I wonder if I’m not like my friend to Him sometimes.

• Hey God, are you there?  It’s me, Jamie.  I lost my Bible again.  Can you help me find it?  I need it now.
• Hey God, it’s me.  This time I lost my keys.  Where are they?  I can’t take the kids to the library if I don’t find them fast.
• Hey God, I know you’ve been growing me and teaching me, but you’ve been making things go so well for me, I don’t really feel desperate for you.  Just please help me find my Bible and my keys, and….

The problem is, you can usually find things faster if you realize that they are misplaced shortly after misplacing them. But I was not like the old woman who lost her coin.  I was not desperately seeking my lost things.  I’ve never not had God help me find a lost thing.  Let me say that again – I’ve never not had God help me find a lost thing.  With His help, I’ve always found something lost.  We have that relationship, so I knew right away when I didn’t find my lost things for a few days that He was trying to get my attention and teach me something.  I was ready to receive His discipline.

He whispers in my ear that he doesn’t just want to be my problem solver, He does not want to be the mistress I use for a quick fix on the side.  He wants to be my husband, and prayer is the most intimate way to come be with Him and know Him and not just for the urgent problems and small needs, but He wants to walk hand in hand with me all day all the time.  He wants me to trust Him with more than I have been.  He wants the complete package of marriage: conversation, intimacy, spirit one.

A spirit is not made one when it only stops when need arises like driving through a drive thru window.  A spirit is made one when life is done together.  When mutual respect is given and love is created.  This is what He wanted me to know.  And mainly I needed to be more mindful of needs that I do not actively bring to Him on a regular basis.  That He wants to do more but I haven’t stopped to trust Him with some of my needs just yet.

• Hey God.  I’ve been sitting with you.  I know you are in the middle of doing some work.  You are really awesome.  I see what you’ve been doing for me and for others while we’ve been sitting here.  I see you’ve really done some neat things in my life, and you are ready for my eyes to notice others that way again.  Lord, I want to be with you and bring you mine and their needs too. Help me to trust you and to see better.  Help me grow in more intimacy.  Forgive me for only coming to you in the urgent.  Help me to walk hand in hand with you in a deeper more intimate way.
• God, can I ask you a question?  You always help me find my lost things, and I think I understand that you want me more. I think I’ve learned my lesson.  Can we find those keys and my bible now?

The keys I found shortly after beginning this post.  And the Bible is still lost. He’s still teaching me something…perhaps for another post.

{In my defense to my readers, I haven’t stopped reading the Word, I just wasn’t reading from that copy, but it is nonetheless a very precious book to me.}

Shared with Darlene at Time Warp Wife for Titus 2sdays and Heavenly Homemakers for Gratituesday.