This post may not win me brownie points, but it is what it is. On Carpe Diem and “Don’t Carpe Diem.
A few weeks ago there was a post that made the rounds (“Don’t Carpe Diem”)- it was a post full of blog magic. I mean everyone wants to write a post that thousands of people read and share on Facebook, right? Yes, we write so others will read. And this post was very well read. I don’t know if Glennon Melton regularly writes for the Huffington Post, but this particular blog post was published there too.
In her post, the Momastery author says she’s tired of all the kindly older women coming up to her and saying something to the effect of, “Enjoy the time you have with them. It goes so fast.” If you are a mom, you DO hear this on a regular basis. People mostly like well-behaved children and even feel a need to encourage us moms when they are terrifyingly awful, not to mention that universally people are curious about babies. Mothers old and young feel a tug in their hearts to connect to other mothers with children, and so they say things like, “Enjoy your time.”
She is so bugged by that, and I am so bugged by her being bugged by it and by seeing all kinds of mothers identifying with this. Why? Well, because she gives mothers what we all want – a license to feel whatever we feel and be whatever we are. Don’t get me wrong I am all for freedom – biblical freedom.
But, I’m also about truth. AND, I cannot give you a license not to seize the day. The thing is, I think Glennon and I would agree that motherhood is not all daisies and roses and fun times. There are many moments where I am not being all happy, happy, joy, joy to be parenting. But, it doesn’t mean I should not embrace the moment, because I should, not because some cute little old lady told me to in a kind voice (which by the way what is wrong with this anyhow?), but because Scripture tells me to.
“Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil.” Ephesians 5:15-16
“Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful. And pray for us, too, that God may open a door for our message, so that we may proclaim the mystery of Christ, for which I am in chains. Pray that I may proclaim it clearly, as I should. Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.” Colossians 4:2-6
When the bible refers to making the most of every opportunity, I equate it to seizing the day or carpe diem. Both Scriptures consider it wise to do so. I want wisdom and to act wisely, don’t you?
Does this mean that I respond every single moment with love and grace dripping off my tongue while my kids whine once again and I’ve had enough? Absolutely not. Should I? Absolutely yes.
Do I have to feel guilty every time I don’t? No. God does not look down on me from heaven waiting to make me feel guilty. Guilt weighs me down and keeps me miry. He has given me His Holy Spirit to convict me. Conviction does not equal guilt however. Conviction changes me. And I want the conviction the Holy Spirit gives me because it is God perfecting me, changing me into the glorious image of His Son.
God loves the deeply ugly beautiful mess that we are. He understands. He LISTENS to us whine and complain over and over again! We often miss out on how He is blessing us because we are whining. Here, we are whining again about parenting because someone in the grocery store told us not to do so. Really? Again, that’s us deciding we don’t like the blessing of the crazy difficult ugly parenting days. But guess what, there’s not good days without the bad! We can’t fully appreciate the good without experiencing the bad!
Every single moment is an opportunity to learn something. And couldn’t it be that the wise old lady has a license to say “Enjoy every moment” because she’s already lived every difficult moment and didn’t enjoy it or learn from it and yet she KNOWS because she is on the other side of our lives?
My point is maybe we’ve defined carpe diem as living perfectly every single second, and that’s just not going to happen this side of heaven. However, there is something to learn from this crazy ugly mess of a life we live day-to-day. Something magical did happen to me when I learned that there is beauty found when ugly and beautiful dance together. My life became fuller, more meaningful, more purposeful. It became more okay to make the mistakes that we all make without falling into the bed each night with a load of guilt. Because there is meaning in the mundane, in the difficult, something that changes us within.
So no, I don’t think we have a license not to carpe diem, but I do think we have a license on how we make the most of our days and how we think about each moment because even the ugly/difficult is a blessing.
So Carpe Diem!! You’ll be glad you did! And wiser still.
Jamie, Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts. I too was disturbed by the post you reference and the banner that it quickly became. Oh, yes we all feel that way at times, but that does not me that we SHOULD feel that way. As you rightly pointed out, our God calls us to be content and find joy in every moment. As followers of Christ every moment becomes sacred territory. {After reading over other posts and Glennon’s take on other subjects I became even more uneasy with recommending that very well put together site.}