Love is…

Today is Valentine’s Day – the international day of LOVE.  I cannot say that I know much about love, at least not in the way that love is thought of on this Valentine’s Day, romantic love.  I can say a few things that I know that LOVE is not.  Love is not in boxes of chocolates or flowers.  It is not a fancy dinner at a nice restaurant.  Love is not found in unmet expectations on this calendar day.  Quite the opposite actually.

When I was in the second grade, I got several special valentines – a few boxes of chocolates, special cards, and a kiss on the hand.  This was big stuff to my little second grade self.   Every year after, I would secretly hope for a secret admirer and a Valentine’s Day as big as my second grade Valentine’s Day, but rarely were they quite as special.  In high school, I had one special valentine, and he sent me some flowers.  And then, years passed in which I was single and had no one special Valentine in which to share this special day of LOVE with, or so I thought.

During those years, I found that love came softly to me in the form of a whisper, an email, a caring word, a prayer, a hug, a glance.  He found me in the pit and He redeemed me.  I thought I was alone and found I was not.  I was in His arms, and He was lifting me out of the pit.  When I needed hope, He gave it.  When I needed life, He breathed it into me.  When I needed direction, He gave me sight and light to see.  When I was alone, He gave me a companion.  My lover blessed me with an earthly lover and husband.

Since being married, I’ve found that sometimes I expect my husband to be for me what that second grade Valentine’s Day was – a romantic dinner for two, no kids, a babysitter arranged, boxes of chocolates, flowers.  I hate to admit it, because as simple as I can be, these are the things I secretly long for – that the world has said are LOVE.  And I’ve bought into this idea.  If he doesn’t meet my expectations, do I respond in LOVE or in anger, frustration, and selfishness? 

LOVE is found in the beauty of every day moments together – when he fixes the clogged sink so that it drains properly, when he takes the kids to the grocery store so I can spend a moment blogging by myself, when he prunes the bushes outside, when he kisses me in the kitchen just because, or when he watches me as I feed the baby or play with the kids.  And LOVE can be found in the giving of boxes of chocolates and fancy romantic dinners, but it is not in the item itself.