For Us In Our Grief

What if Jesus is for us in our grief and loss?

Life doesn’t always turn out like we hope or think or even pray. In the years before my brittle self, my parents did not have the best marriage. There were fights and arguments and tempers and pornography addictions. I had gone off to college relieved not to be in the middle of the arguing anymore, but also hopeful that healing would come. I prayed, and I expected Jesus to come.

Years passed and things did not get better for my parents but worse. Where was Jesus? I had not yet found Jesus to be as tender a friend to me as He is today. I’d passed the point in my testimony that I mentioned earlier. Jesus was breaking me down to reconstruct me and make me into something more like Him. I still held onto most of my burdens. Idols were piled high, and the reconstruction in my heart was just beginning.

A version of healing came one cold November day now eleven years ago in the form of my dad’s death. The grieving I’d done while he lived. His death was a sense of relief – the ability to release the years of tension I’d carried hoping and praying that my parents and their marriage would be healed. The vision of healing I had – a marriage that was long, lasting, and loving was not what God envisioned for healing. My vision and His are rarely the same.

My daddy was a very emotionally passionate man – from extreme temper tantrums to emphatic joy. I am like him in that way, although I hope my fits of emotions are more subdued. He’d been buried and dead a long time when Jesus resurrected him for me.

I invite you to read the story of Mary and Martha and the death and resurrection of Lazarus in John 11-12.

Things I learn about Jesus in this passage:

1. He does not always come when we expect Him to.
2. He does not always do things the way we expect.
3. He relates to each us individually, as He does with Martha and Mary.
4. Sometimes the actions He takes are for my good as well as the greater good. Lazarus’s death was not just good for Mary and Martha, but for the disciples too.
5. Just because He works things for the greater good does not mean He does not care about me or you in your situation too.
6. He is for us in our grief.
7. He grieves alongside us.
8. Jesus’s plan to allow Lazarus to die was the impetus for His own death.
9. His death is my gain.
10. He is good whether He raises Lazarus or allows him to die.
11. When He is doing things we don’t understand, it is often for His glory and our gain.

God is with us when things, including dreams and relationships and loved ones, die. He grieves alongside us and cares for us in the ache. He’s never left us alone.

This is one in a 31 day series of Seeking Jesus. If you’d like to keep up with each post in this series, subscribe here.