Alive

Red Shoes © by sean_hickin

After I had Lisabeth, I lost 40 pounds.  That was 2 years ago.  Last year, I got lost in preparing for a conference and got out of the routine of exercise and healthy eating.  In one month, I put back on 10 pounds sometime in the middle of last year, probably during summer.  I managed to keep it there, the weight my body likes to be naturally, fluxing +/-3 pounds, but a weight increase of 10-13 pounds.  But as soon as the conference was over, one of the things I slowly began to add back in was healthy eating and exercise.

I was diagnosed with dysautonomia in December before the conference, which can be a major life change for some, but for me means that I tend to stay dehydrated, have serious digestion and stomach problems, and cannot handle caffeine or sugars well.  The doctor’s orders were to drink as many ounces of water in a day as is degrees outside, eat plenty of salt with my food, and to do cardio/aerobic exercise 30 minutes a day 5 days a week, and take some magnesium at bedtime as a sleep aid/heart regulator.  {I also have mitral valve prolapse which goes hand in hand with dys sometimes.}  For the first few months, I did not change my routine, other than taking the magnesium.  And nothing in my life changed, other than side effects from the magnesium.   My stomach hurt.  I would go to sleep tired and wide awake.  Three months later, it was time for a recheck.  I went, and told her I basically had done nothing.

She was gracious with me.  I think it was her kindness and my honesty with her that drove me to make the changes she’d suggested.  She said to start slow and that after I’d added back cardio, I could add in other forms of exercise like strength training, etc.  Knowing that I used to walk 3 miles a day in an hour for some time the year before, I ramped back into that routine pretty easily, but there were still obvious signs of not taking care of myself physically.  Sometimes I had to stop when everyone else kept going.  Sometimes I huffed and puffed and wanted to give up.  I talked to my general doctor and he said I may have exercised induced asthma, so I tried an inhaler before exercising.  It seemed to help.  But, too, walking made it easier for me to drink the water I needed and even to eat better.  It seemed my body liked the life I seemed to be giving it when I exercised.  And my problems were better – I could sleep, my stomach felt better.

I can see that the summer will be challenging in eating right, drinking enough water, and getting in my exercise.  Last night I went for a walk around my neighborhood.  I loved every minute of it.  I took my iPod and listened to praise music.  I had the pleasure of dancing with a black and blue butterfly, smelled the sweet scent of magnolia flowers, touched the tips of the leaves hanging overhead, smelled the gardenia blossoms, saw a family meandering through the night air together, felt the tingle of a baby smiling a wide-eyed smile into my face, and experienced the kiss of my Savior.

There is one hill in my neighborhood that I’ve never been able to walk up without stopping along the way for a short rest or two or three.  Now I don’t walk my neighborhood every time, and last time, I probably could have done it, but Annabelle was with me, and she needed a rest.  So last night when I walked, my playlist had just gotten to Christ has Risen by Matt Maher.  I was thinking about this post by Rebekah and how alive I felt.  I was thinking that the Christian walk is much like my walk.  I had been awakened to new life last year in a spiritual sense and now I was getting new life in a physical sense.  I thought about how sometimes our life does not change even though we are Christians, because maybe we don’t follow the doctor’s orders, but even when we make small changes, often something invigorating happens.  After thinking about grace over the past two years, I feel alive and free and whole and healed.  I thought that if I had never obeyed, I would still be stopping in the middle of the hill.  Nothing would ever change, and I would never experience the full abundant life He desires.  I would never experience victory.  Sometimes, all we need to feel alive is one small change.  As I walked up that giant hill, these lyrics played:

“Oh death! Where is your sting?
Oh hell! Where is your victory?
Oh Church! Come stand in the light!
The glory of God has defeated the night!

Oh death! Where is your sting?
Oh hell! Where is your victory?
Oh Church! Come stand in the light!
Our God is not dead, he’s alive! he’s alive!

Christ is risen from the dead
Trampling over death by death
Come awake, come awake!
Come and rise up from the grave
Christ is risen from the dead
We are one with him again
Come awake, come awake!
Come and rise up from the grave

Rise up from the grave… “

I experienced the God chills as I realized how much He’d changed me, grown me, the victory I was experiencing, as I walked up the hill without stopping not even one time for a break.  We were spirit one, He and I, in the moment.  He made me alive, in more ways than one.

How about you?  Needing some new life?  Make a small change.  Obey in one way.