Administering Grace

The past two Wednesday nights I’ve been able to teach.  In my opinion I don’t find myself to be a good communicator of the spoken word.  In the written word, it can be an art to me, and I love to do it.  For so long I did not know who I was created to be.  I can’t say that I know that with certainty now either, but what I do know is that love for the Savior is growing deeply and enormously.  I am letting go of the shoulds and should nots and I have begun to feel more assurance for who I am in Him.  I am a sinner still, but I used to live a life of sin disguised as a life of purity.  I no longer carry the burden of sin that I once did.  I did not walk in freedom.  I did not grow.  I lived under condemnation from the approval of others and they were my gods.

In the past, had I been given a class to teach and only one showed up, it was very discouraging for me, because I was looking to my classmates for their approval and some degree my confidence.  Now I look to Him.  For example, after teaching the women’s conference, I really haven’t had opportunity to teach again.  I started to wonder if that was part of His plan for me, and simply asked him to give me opportunities if indeed it was something He really wants for me to do.  Shortly after, I was asked to teach in this Wednesday night class.

This is not going to win me teaching opportunities, but while I see that my confidence is growing in the speaking realm of things, I am still not a great teacher or speaker.  I don’t fully communicate all that I want to.  I am not funny or engaging, and I get straight to the point.  I recognize that about myself, and I no longer define my worth on my lack.

My main concern is my ability to teach effectively enough to not miscommunicate the gospel or whatever message God gives.  Words could not tell you how much gratitude I have to the powers that be for allowing me to teach.  They are administering grace to me which gives me confidence to become whoever He is making me to be.  And also, I rest in the knowledge that I haven’t come up with a list of things that sound good to teach from my perspective.  I earnestly seek Him and He guides into the message He asks me to tell.

When I studied for my lesson last night, I was surprised by this little nugget I found.

Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God’s grace in its various forms.  1 Peter 4:10

We have different gifts, according to the grace given us.  Romans 12:6

But to each one of us grace has been given as Christ apportioned it.  Ephesians 4:7

According to the original word for grace in the Bible, grace is the gift of favor from God.  It is only possible through Jesus Christ.  He always give me merit and favor because I believe on Him as God’s Son who came and died for me and then rose again, not because of anything else I do.  No matter what.  But grace has  a twofold definition.  It means a favor from the giver, but deep gratitude from the recipient.   Teaching may or may not be the gift He has given me.  But all of the gifts He’s given are good and right for me to administer more and more of us His grace to others.

What kind of God is He that He allows us to participate in His amazing work?  How could that not illicit thanksgiving?

His grace will always be sufficient because He will always provide the portion of grace that will meet all of my needs.  It is in no way up to me make this happen for me.  My part is simply believing in Him and resting in the knowledge that He will fill me as I have need of him.  I know that because He’s given me knowledge and understanding of it.  I know many visit my blog here because they do not know just how really good Jesus is, and they look for Him.  Even Jesus followers like me who’ve become lost along the way.  So my prayer for you, dear reader, is that

And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ—to the glory and praise of God.  Philippians 1:9-11

and that you may begin to see yourself as God sees you so that you in turn may administer more and more of His glorious grace to others. Wow – we are administering grace to one another.