Do you remember what you were like at twelve on up to seventeen? Like the thoughts and insecurities in your head?
I cannot say that I remember exactly. But recently, I had old insecurities pop into my thoughts as I gazed into the mirror while I got ready.
“You’re so fat. What’s wrong with you? Why did you let yourself get fat? You don’t even have any clothes to wear now.”
“Every time you try to change, diet, or otherwise, you fail. You are stuck here.”
“Look at your hair — it’s gray. You are not pretty anymore. Face it, your youth is gone. Not even makeup can help you now.”
“You suck.”
When I was the worst of myself, these type of thoughts were there with me daily. When I was a teen, I had Seventeen magazine to look at, the voices overheard at school, and whatever TV shows I fed myself with then. I also grew up going to church and though I did not understand the entirety of the Gospel, I was surrounded by the truth of God’s word and had access to the Bible at home.
My journals during those years were loud and angry, yelling at my parents without actually yelling at my parents and getting into trouble. My hair was never like anyone else’s. My clothes were either homemade or came from Wal-Mart. These things simultaneously did not matter and yet did, which hasn’t changed all these years later for kids now. While I wish my parents would have shown me my value from Scripture, I knew I was loved and yet still struggled to believe it.
Kids today potentially have voices overheard at school, various types of social media channels, constant streams of text messages, and possible access to binge-watching even less “wholesome” TV shows than we had when I was a teen.
Some things that I imagine going through my daughter’s head on a bad day are,
“My face is so red.”
“I am not pretty.”
“No one really notices me.”
Thoughts like these and mine above, left unchecked, can be detrimental. We need to give our kids something other than the mirror of insecurity to stare at.
I am a Christian parent trying desperately to give my children the Gospel even when I fall short of His Glory. On the hard days, when my kids are fighting me tooth and nail, telling me that he or she is a failure or each one is simply refusing to be loved, I tell them that Satan is not allowed to define their worth. I tell them that he is a liar and that they cannot allow his lies to be the loudest in their heads. I remind them that they are fearfully and wonderfully made. I tell them that I love them, but I tell them that the love of Jesus is better. I encourage them to read the Bible for themselves because I know that His word does not return void when the Holy Spirit dwells inside.
It is a fight. I never knew that parenting my children for the Kingdom would be a fight. I thought that their foundation would be firmer than my own as a child. And to some degree, it is. But, my kids are no different from me. They still struggle to believe it.
My kids are raised in an imperfect Christian home. Having the Gospel gives me hope as a parent and gives my children hope as kids, but it doesn’t make them automatically obedient or perfect or without fault or struggle.
Some days they don’t want my love nor do they want the Gospel truth. They are human, so even though I am teaching them to replace their thoughts, they are still kids. They are still young and immature. Some days the lies get the best of them. So I keep spoon-feeding the truth anyway in ways big and small. I think it will take a million little seeds before their lives are deeply rooted in hope and truth.
If my children who are regularly fed the Gospel and yet still struggle to believe, kick, fight, and rage against me some days, then what about the children who do not have the Gospel in their homes? What about the kids who are not fed hope? These kids are an unreached people group, and we have to find a way to get the Gospel to these kids, be it disobeying the law and bringing prayer back to schools, teachers reaching out with Jesus despite their job on the line, or finding other creative ways to reach our community with Christ.
Yes, we need to teach our kids to be noticers and seers, to invite others in and even to preach the Gospel hope, but let’s not deny that these years can be deeply insecure, troubling years for many kids and that many will not be effective preachers or missionaries. {The ones who are most secure and can speak up should definitely speak as people groups are always best reached by their peers.}
Positive empowerment curriculums may be temporary solutions to teenage problems today like social bullying and inclusion, but they don’t have the real power to stop every youth problem. The real answer to prevent teens from suicide is Jesus. And not a once a week tiny name drop, but a daily, numerous times a day preaching of Jesus. He is the healer. He is hope. He is the truth. He is worth. He is. Everything we all need and more.
Our youth need to be taught the Gospel on a practical level, more so than the intellectual, knowledge level. They need to see how the Gospel applies to every day, here and now. They need to know that there is another mirror to stare at – the Word of truth. We need to educate parents on the pressures kids face and look in the Real Mirror and see how that Gospel brings hope to those same problems. We need to educate parents on how to preach the Gospel hope to themselves and to in turn preach it to their kids. We need more people acting as a village, looking out for one another, and less individualism. We need more unity, more community. We need Jesus.
Our kids need Jesus. Every kid deserves the truth of who He is and what He does. Now, how will we take Him to those who need Him most?
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