On Fame, Worth, Habits, and Womanhood

Writing a piece like this is risky, but I just felt like it is needed – on fame, worth, habits, and womanhood.

On Fame, Worth, Habits, and Womanhood

Several years ago before I was a wife or mother, I worked in an office. There was a period of time when I would go into the office, and every morning, Joel, my co-worker and oft supervisor would say, “So Jamie, did you read about Britney this morning?” I would feign I knew something about it as he would tell me he had been reading about her again. It was water cooler fodder that he loved to laugh about. Pretty soon, I took notice of the Britney situation, which quickly became the Lindsey situation, and is now escalating into the Miley situation.

On Fame and Fortune

Britney, Lindsey, and Miley were all once young innocent girls who were given over to become Disney channel stars. At least two of them had Christian parents (Britney and Miley) or parents raised with a gospel awareness, as Billy Ray’s father was a pentecostal preacher. I don’t know anything about how they parented these girls. They could have done everything right and still raised prodigal children (kids who rebelliously turned to their own devices). Or they may have forgotten to teach them the ways of God, in which case, they reaped what they did not sow.

As I think about these girls turned into public misplays, I think about how they were kids who were given over to their pursuits and passions at the time before they were old enough to handle the responsibility. I suspect that their parents encouraged their pursuit of the acting and singing life. At times, I have let my own children have things they were not ready to handle, and then I had to take back the gift until they gained maturity. It seems like these parents did not realize or know the dangers their kids would potentially fall into nor they didn’t take the precautions to protect their innocence. Perhaps the tightfisted power of money swayed them into pursuing more when they knew they should turn away. Certainly these parents let the world define womanhood for their daughters.

Miley watched Britney, Britney watched Madonna, and Madonna watched Marilyn Monroe. All of these women are or were beautiful women fearfully and wonderfully made by a God who loves them. Somewhere along the way, however, they didn’t learn about God’s loving care of them, and their beauty was corrupted. Marilyn was the sex symbol of her era. Madonna pushed the envelope on sexuality. Britney wanted to be the next Madonna, and now we’ve all seen more of Miley and her vulgarity than we cared to see or know. The world is loudly teaching us that women are nothing more than objects, that a woman is no more than the sum of her private parts. We have got to stop idolizing fame and fortune and start listening to the One true God – the God most High.

On Worth

God has created us in His image. We are so valuable to Him that He sent His son and allowed Him to die on a cross to save us from the eternal hell we would all go to were it not for His death and resurrection.

So what of it? Is their hope for Miley Cyrus? or even still, the next generation? This is a question I ask often lately.

In Ezekiel 16, God spreads his garment over His people and covers their nudity.

“But you trusted in your beauty and used your fame to become a prostitute” (Ez 16:15). They stopped trusting in His fame.

“Then, when I make atonement for you for all you have done, you will remember and be ashamed and never again open your mouth because of your humiliation, declares the Sovereign Lord” (Ez 16:63). He still redeems them.

He does it again and again every time one believes in Christ – covering our nakedness and shame. As long as God reigns, hope reigns. In my limited human mind, nothing could undo the shame that Miley will one day have as she looks back on her day at the VMAs, but God. He reaches down. He can transform the hardest and dullest of hearts. And our prayers should be for Miley to find His hope. His atonement has already been offered. Oh Miley, how much further down will you go before you find the Father’s arms?

On our Habits

Tragically we let our daughters watch the Mileys, the Lindseys, and the Britneys in their youth before they went astray. Maybe this isn’t morally wrong, but we don’t know what young star will be next to fall prey to the evils of this world. The girl from Jessie? or some other Disney star? We allow our 4 year olds to wear pictures of famous stars on their t-shirts never knowing what the famed girl will grow up to be and how that may affect our own kids. Moms, don’t let your little ones idolize others. Just don’t let them have the t-shirt. It’s not really about the Disney shows, it’s about the future we don’t yet know. I’m not saying they can’t watch TV, but I am saying we need to be more mindful of how much, how often, and why we allow it.

Besides that, have you shopped in the clothing aisle for a 6 year old lately? The industry is trying to sexualize our children with the very clothes they wear before they’ve even come of age to know what sex is. No wonder sex trafficking is a profitable industry – it tries to define our kids. We dress our kids in provocative outfits and call it cute. As usual, it is the poor ones who are discriminated against here. Target and Wal-Mart are affordable for most all, and Land’s End and Hannah Anderson are not. By caving to the culture and allowing our children to dress like mini adults, even in ways we ourselves are uncomfortable with, we are not raising our little ones to respect modesty.

We need to change our standards. Moms, you’ve got to be the first ones to stop buying the People magazines and watching the Kardishans as if your life depended on their train wreck of a life. It’s just not funny. You gotta cut out the Real Housewives and be a wife, because if somebody is watching you watch them, they are more apt to watch the Mileys and Jessies and think that it is okay to idolize these celebrities and the culture they live in. Then we will wonder why our kids have fallen prey to the same behaviors as Miley, Lindsey, and Britney. Moms, you may not let these shows define you, but don’t fool yourself, anything you let into your body and mind affects and can define what and how you think. Are you accidentally letting them define womanhood for your kids?

On Womanhood

Instead, think on this:

“Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands, like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.” 1 Peter 3: 3-6

A quiet spirit is not a woman who is a doormat and never speaks up – she is a woman who is settled deep down in her spirit about who she is in Christ. She doesn’t make herself big or loud or parade herself provocatively for attention. She clothes herself with Christ, being compassionate, kind, humble, gentle, and patient. She is settled in her spirit because He has lavished her with love. He has chosen her for a purpose. He adopted her into His family. He redeemed her, forgave her, gave her wisdom and understanding, and she lacks no good thing.

While I cannot control my kids choices once they leave my nest and even at times, now, I will stay firm in saying no when no is needed, yes when yes is needed, persist on teaching the name of Jesus, even when His name is vulgar to their ears and bitter to their mouths, and stand firm against the enemy in prayer, for he seeks to devour our little ones. In doing so, they will see true womanhood.