When Dreams must Die

Sometimes, it is undeniable that God is at work.  I am a living breathing sinner, but God still lives in me.  Ugh.  I can’t even imagine what He does when He is with me in the ugly.  I guess it is all covered and maybe He doesn’t even see it anymore.  It’s hard to say.  That’s one of the mysteries I’ve not even tried to figure out and I’m not sure that I could.  But still, though I allow sin in, He lives in me.  And this is a miraculous mystery – that the God of the universe would bother to take up residence in any of us. This week I started thinking about when dreams must die.

Since my previous post, it became obvious to me that I had some idols that I needed to nail to the cross.  My idols were not in and of themselves bad things.  In fact many of my idols were God-given dreams.  In my desires to see old dreams come to pass, sometimes I build new dreams while I’m waiting.  My dreams are good enough to pass for God-given dreams.  Going on a mission trip, adopting, teaching, ministering to others.  Some times these good things take too much precedence in my life, and I can’t hear Him for all the noise of wanting to follow Him and creating my own path to do so.  This is the way it is for me sometimes. Maybe that was why Eve took that bite back in the beginning.

Just like Eve in the Garden, I hear the serpent whispering in my hear, “Did God really ssssay?”  I doubt, I fidget, and I think of ways to create my own path.  The dreams God gives me, He hasn’t necessarily given to my husband, and I don’t know how our dreams will intersect.  It became apparent that I needed to take my dreams and nail them to the cross and let them die.  This is not how we want our dreams to go.  We want to hold onto them and let hope take flight and lift our dreams into reality.

I have not given up on my dreams or God’s plans for me.  But God clearly told me to make a list of all my dreams, and lay them on the altar, much like Abraham did to Isaac.  And yesterday I did, and now, I have no idea which ones God will resurrect.  I am free from the burden of my dreams.  But one thing I do know, He will resurrect the one(s) He plans for me or give me new ones.

Our pastor said that we should be able to walk into a room and preach the gospel without saying a word.  I want to be like that.  I do, but I’m not there yet.  God is working on me.  Is it a coincidence that I was led to study Ephesians and then my pastor began a series on it?  Is it a coincidence that God told me to lay my idols down on Sunday and then one of His points is “Cleanse your Life of Personal Idols” while I’ve already prepared a list to give Him at the altar?

The Spirit’s work is so palpable I can almost taste and smell Him.  To me, these things are simply evidences of the Spirit’s working  in me, that He’s alive and at work in me.  And I know that He who began a good work in me will carry it onto completion (Phil 1:6).

So I believe that dreams will be resurrected, the ones that He wants to fulfill with me.

“Abraham reasoned that God could raise the dead, and figuratively speaking, he did receive Isaac back from death.”  Hebrews 11:19

Before we start delving into thoughts on Ephesians, maybe you have some idols you need to lay on the altar.  Pray and ask God to show you if you do and what they are.  Make a list and then give them over to God.  When you see yourself start to pick them up again without God’s consent, lay them on the altar again.  But the idea is to completely let the idols die, even if they are dreams or good things that take God’s place.

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