A Season of Limbo: a Jonah Story
Back about 3 months ago, the Lord spent a month speaking to me in a rush, and He gave me a holy assignment. His words were intense and sometimes after our times together, I wanted nothing but to be still and frankly, not to approach the throne room again. Some people go their whole lives never hearing the Lord speak, and here I was just needing His words to be still. I wanted to be chosen for a special assignment but only the kind of assignment I liked, not the kind that was hard and difficult and may require me to look stupid and idiotic and require more humility than I have. So I did what any good Jonah would do, I ran hard and fast away from Nineveh. Yes, I tucked tail and hid.
This limbo I mentioned I am in – I chose it. So for 3 months, I have been in the belly of a whale. Waiting, chained by my own doing. With no Mordecai around to give me courage, I was not a women of the Esther generation made for such a time as this. Or so I hoped. When Emily’s post asked us to decide what biblical character we were most like – I knew at once, I was Jonah, and this limbo was as a result of my sin, my integrity waiting to be picked back up off the gritty floor and made righteous again.
It didn’t bother me to sit around waiting for a while, but then my mind seemed warped like Nebuchadnezzar’s. I wasn’t delusional but I wasn’t walking in the way that He wanted either, and the season of limbo got old. I wanted nothing more than to be done. So I decided to return to the Lord once again.
I picked up my Bible, and again, He spoke the same thing He’d said before. And again, how I have pleaded not to go to Nineveh. But I’d rather release the idols of insecurity, pride, fear, people pleasing, and self back into His hands and be whole again and go to Nineveh and look foolishly than be in the smelly belly of a fish once again. The first time it was a grace, the second time, I might be eaten alive. No thank you. Instead, I give thanks for a God of grace who allows me to return again.
Are you in a season of limbo today? Maybe you, like me, need to ask whether it is of your own doing. Maybe you need to go back home or run to the assignment you’ve been given. Maybe you, like me, just need a dose of courage to face the giants rising up in your life.
Lord, we are women who you have created for such a time as this. I’ve been a prodigal who’s returning home to you. If there are any who are like me, I pray they will join me in repenting. Lord, I was wrong. You have given me a holy assignment, and I turned away from your holy courage. Lord, may I be bold and courageous like Joshua. May I be willing like Jonah out of the belly to speak the words you require me to speak. May I be a Daniel in a generation that grows steadily like the Babylon he was captive in. Lord, today, my burden is for the church. Help me to have the audacity of Jesus in the temple with the money changers. Help me to be an unexpected light in a dark world. Let me fall away, and you be all that is left. Glory be. Amen.
photo credit and art: mine
Great post. Spoke to me tremendously in my own belly of the whale season.
Barbie, I am so glad.
You are brave. God is strong and faithful. You have been a witness to the Light even in the dark belly of the fish. There is no telling what God can do with the light you are shining for Him! I look forward to the beacon you’re going to be holding to light the way for others!